God created my other half

I prayed and asked God to send me a man that understands me and my flaws. Months later God sent me an angel named Pryce . At first I was scared and I wasn’t able to open up to him the way that he wanted me to. I was in denial of ever feeling that a man was able to love me the way I wanted to be loved.For years I felt trapped. I felt like I was alone and I didn’t want to be alone anymore. I wanted to open my heart to the right person at the time I felt like I was opening up to the wrong person. But then he showed me that he truly loved me.I knew he loved me because even though I was lying to him he stuck beside me because he wasn’t ready to let me go without giving me a fair chance. Then I knew that I was right where I was supposed to be. He was different any other man would’ve left me after all the lies I told. When I realized how much he cared for me I knew I had to change. I had to change to protect his heart , to choose his love , to cater to him. I wanted to be the best woman I could ever be to make him happy and put a smile on his face. He deserved everything in me. I was scared at first ,but I wanted to love this man more than I even loved myself. Because I knew he loved me more than he loved his self sometimes ,he showed it.

My Trophy

Girls are looked as trophies

In a guys eyes

We all know that this is no surprise

Most look to fill their trophy cases

With trophies from different places

But there is seven percent of guys just like me

It is hard being in the shadow of ninety three

I just want one trophy

And I have always been hoping that I could have one

The one that I can look back on

Having a life time of memories

Knowing that I love her

She is my one and only

Nothing can come above her

She has my heart in her hands

Without her there is no happiness

I look at our pictures and say this is where life begins

My love for you is strong

I just hope you can handle it

I only ask one thing

Please don’t abandon me

Because your the only girl I see

You are my greastest accomplishment

That is why your my trophy

Written By: Pryce Sullivan

**Dedicated to Caitlin Washington**

Closer to you

The closer I get to you

It becomes hard to be without you

The closer I get to you

I found myself latching on to you

Every second I’m away from you

I can’t stop thinking about you

I love you and don’t even want to wonder what it would be like without you

Every Saturday we are joined at the hip

wherever you go I follow

Like a shadow that never disappear

 Every second I’m away from you

It feels like my breath is taken away

I love you

All I want is to be closer to you

*** Dedicated to Pryce Sullivan***

A Woman’s Truth

In the back of my mind I always knew the truth and the truth was that I knew that I loved you
I met you and fell in love
Our story was never a fairytale not even close
At first I was lost and confused
I was stuck in a position where I cared for two
I wanted to love you but at the time when we laid eyes upon one and other I couldn’t
I refused too
I was hurt so many times and I felt as if my love wasn’t enough
You made me change everything about myself
That moment I knew you were perfect
God made you for me

 

Right or Wrong

Is it right or wrong
To love someone you can’t have
Is it right or wrong to depend on fate more than you depend on yourself
Is it right or wrong to lie to yourself
Lying to protect your heart from the truth
Lying to hide away from what’s really tearing you apart inside
Depending on what you feel is right for yourself in the moment

My Mother was my KILLER

Growing up I was raised by my mother. Being her child was like a task to me. I always had to be better than my two sisters. It was like a competition and I had to bet them to the punch at everything I did. My mom always told me that I was going to be that one child that becomes something in life other than my other two sisters. I had to cover up my emotions and try to mold myself into this woman that my mom wanted me to become. So in my eyes I have to be the better outlet in every situation possible.                                      

I had to make sure that everything I did so far in life would be excepted in her eyes even if that meant me not being happy. My emotions became numb and I was only satisfied if I felt I achieved up to her expectations. I never could wrap my mind around why my mother feels it’s necessary to push me into what she feels is best. What happens to what I feel is best for myself and future. I just think that she wants me to do better than what she is because even though she works in the medical field she’s still struggling financially. In some ways I can understand why she wants me to achieve at a higher level than her. She see something in me that I can’t seem to find within myself.

 I feel as if my mom wanted to live through me. This has really affected me as a person because it is like I always have to  put myself first instead of other people. I become selfish and inconsiderate when it comes down to certain situations. I want to be the best Caitlin that I can be. But it is hard when my mind is on my accomplishments and who I want to become.When I look in the mirror I can clearly see that I am not happy with myself. How can I change this emotion? Should I change my surroundings and free myself from my own mother.

30 Questions: Get To Know Me Tag

 

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